You are an amazing person - Seen in Austin

It’s been a challenging time lately. Professionally and privately, I’m being challenged with some pretty weighty personal growth opportunities. There has been a lot of self-examination and doubt. Do I really have what it takes to be successful in my desired path? What if my best isn’t enough? It’s a heavy burden of thought to carry recently. But, sometime in the grey and rain of yesterday, I remembered something. I remembered I’m capable.

ca·pa·ble  /ˈkāpəbəl/
Able to achieve efficiently whatever one has to do; competent.

Striding on the elliptical machine at the gym, staring out the window through the rain to a point on a building in the distance, I remembered. Somewhere between ‘The Cave’ and ‘Castles in the Sand’ while I was wiping away sweat, somewhere around mile 2, I remembered that I always do what I have to do. I make things happen. I do things. I’m capable of things. I’m capable of many things.

I am a girl that’s capable of making her body go 13.1 miles in less than 3 hours, multiple times within the same year:
Running Running Running
I am the girl that’s capable of taking a kick ass self portrait in a dust storm at Burning Man:
Dust Storm Diva!  Burning Man 2007
I’m actually extra capable at the self portrait thing. This may have taken 100 shots on the self timer while I was traveling alone in Puerto Vallarta, but this single shot is fantastic:
Puerto Vallerta
I’m capable of venturing out of the resort and ziplining on a solo vacation to Mexico:
Los Veranos Canopy Tour
I’m capable of riding a Mechanical Bull in San Antonio on Valentine’s Day with the girls:
Sexy Lady a ridin'!
I’m also capable of participating in large flash mob pillow fights on Valentine’s Day with the girls:
San Francisco Valentines Day Pillow Fight 2009
I’m capable of surviving New York City alone. I went there alone as a 30th birthday present to myself, as part of my Project 30 celebration and it was one of the best decisions ever:
Me & the Statue of Liberty
I’m capable of roadtripping by myself:
Road Tripper!
In fact, I sing in the car and I’m not shy about how absolutely capable of that I am:
52 Weeks: Week 28: My Biggest Joy - Singing in the Car
I’m even capable of camping by myself (and can start my own fires):
Grover Hot Springs State Park
I am capable of traveling internationally and navigating foreign cities by myself. A guy came and asked me if I wanted his help taking this, because I was standing there struggling to line it up right with my timer by myself. I had just spent the entire day walking all over the city by myself until I had so many blisters I couldn’t take another step. This day was so special:
Me in Paris!
I’m even capable of dining alone in international places. Having a moment alone with this tomato soup in Amsterdam is one of my most favorite life moments:
I am capable of growing things. It may be extra challenging at times, but I have maintained a really awesome garden for 3 years:
Garden 2011
I want to keep remembering. No matter how many things there are lately that make me question myself, I want to remember that I am capable of many, many things.

Things I Love…This Picture.

I keep a running set of the “Most Interesting” public pictures in my Flickr account, and many of them have very sentimental moments attached to them for me. I think about some of them frequently, have others printed around my house. I want to tell their stories here. Here’s one of them…

The Most Beautiful Note in the Rain

A few years ago, I was walking in the rain down a corridor between the parking garage and a building here in Santa Cruz, when I found this note and took a picture. Almost an intrusion into a private moment between two people to not only read but document, it’s become something I have always been so very grateful to have experienced.  It has inspired me to know that type and intensity of love for a partnership and parenthood exists in this world. Thank you Za and David, where ever you are, for unintentionally helping me believe in love…and I hope that your love and family has continued to thrive.  I only hope to find something even remotely as beautiful for my future.